I think I am going to call the RSPCA if Mum dances with me again, she goes bonkers!

Lola thinks she is -umbo the flying elephant.

I think I am going to call the RSPCA if Mum dances with me again, she goes bonkers! Well, sometimes I think Mum is off her rocker. The other day she put on a song called Lola by the Kinks, recorded in 1970, so I don't expect many people who are still alive from then, except Mum. Even turned the volume up like a million decibels, and I tried to run into the garden, but she grabbed me, pulled me to her chest and grabbed my right leg and stuck it out at 90 degrees, (it's not designed to do that) and then danced me around the room. Over and above that, she started singing like mega loud in my ear. Talk about feeling embarrassed, and I am so glad Martha, my doggie dating friend, was not around. She said she liked music with a bit of rhythm, not this waltzing they do on Strictly. She reckons they look like a pair of swans and expect they end up in A&E with neck injuries. Human necks are not designed to be pulled out of the vertebrae and then thrown back as though their dancing partner has bad breath. I asked her what about my leg? She grabbed me again twirled it around 180 degrees and said nothing wrong with it, don't be a wimp.

 Oh boy, Donald (not duck), the other Donald, the one who is in charge of the USA. He caught COVID-19 this week, and so did his wife, Melena, I think that is her name. Donald went into a Military Hospital for treatment, he must have been very ill, but he did not stay long. It seems like the disinfection worked quickly. Mum has a few bottles because she sprays it where I wee in the house, so we will be able to start treatment pretty quickly.

  Lolo reckons she can sort COVID-19 out without using disinfection, just give her 1 rounds in the cage with her!

Not much to report this week, I have put on a couple of pounds, Mum says I feel full of muscles, and she may put me up for the ladies rugby team.

Mum invites me to her NHS meeting, she wants me to learn how it works, I told her I had my eyes shut, BUT I was listening.

I nearly forgot many people have written in to ask where Mum gets my raw food from, its called Honey's Raw Food AND you will get a free tin of Beautiful Joe’s ethical dog treats. Tell the lovely ladies at Honey's that Lady Lola told you and I will get a cut. Thanks. 

 Sorry, my blog is late this week, I have just been too busy playing, oh so much stress! Destressing after a day of playing.

Mum says if I waggle my bottom any more when I first see her in the morning it will drop off, and I will be left in two halves.

I love it when Mum goes to her office. I am allowed to lie in a bed under her desk. I am not allowed in there unless she is there. She says in case I have my bowels opened, an extraordinary way of saying I might do big jobbies. Mum who was a nurse tells me that's the right way to say it. 

  Me writing my blog

Anyway, I was going to mention a conversation I overheard with Mum and Aunty Jan when I was under the desk. They were discussing what food I should go on, and Aunty Jan said she fed her dog, Millie, on raw food that she buys from ............, I am not going to say as they may not like it if hundreds of people start buying their food! And there is none left for Millie and me. Mum told me if we did say their name we may get a commission, free dog food for Millie and me! Mum was very keen to put me on raw food because she thinks she is a Lifestyle guru and said that people that eat processed food (like dogs kibble) means people get ill with lots of different diseases. Remember Mum is a nurse, well a retired nurse. I do love my raw food; it makes me feel like an ancient warrior dog hunting rats and rabbits. Mum said hang on there Lola you don't get rats in you packaged food, only British organic chicken, turkey and beef etc. The book Mum read stated that I don't have a smelly poo, that's right. My teeth and gums will not get so much plaque. "a sticky, colourless or yellow film on my teeth." it's alright for humans they can have dentures when they get old. Mum said she thinks Mr SuperVet what's his name - Bionic Brains Fitzpatrick fellow can replace any part of a dog, bugger plaque.

   My meeting Rufus, big, black and beautiful

Oh, I have been to the beach with Mum this week. WOW, so many people and dogs and birds. Mums said I went B A L L I S T I C. She whistled, screamed my name and rattled her tin of my treats, but I just kept going. She had read where a puppy of my age should only exercise for 15 minutes a day. 15 minutes, no way! I had enough playmates there for a week. N O T H I N G was going to stop me. Did you see the picture of Rufus and me, he was big, beautiful and black. Mum said it must have felt like her looking up the trouser leg of the Jolly Green Giant. 

   Me going BALLISTIC on the beach